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Post by SmokedPears on Nov 30, 2019 11:16:50 GMT -6
Saw Midway finally. Fantastic movie. Better than I expected and I knew I would like it. Highly recommend. I will see again.
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Post by SmokedPears on Dec 2, 2019 8:44:40 GMT -6
A lady lost her handbag at the mall. An honest young lad found it and returned it to her.
Looking in her purse, she said, "Hmm, that's funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy replied, "That IS funny. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
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Post by SmokedPears on Dec 2, 2019 9:12:35 GMT -6
Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. "Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.
"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?"
"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."
"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"
Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"
"Two and a half carats."
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Post by SmokedPears on Dec 2, 2019 9:13:20 GMT -6
Four priests in New York went golfing wearing typical "golfer" outfits. After a while, their caddy asked, "You guys wouldn't be priests by any chance?"
"Actually, yes, we are," one cleric replied. "How did you know?"
Easy," said the caddy, "I've never seen such bad golf and such clean language."
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Post by SmokedPears on Dec 3, 2019 9:26:37 GMT -6
Priceless:
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Post by SmokedPears on Dec 5, 2019 8:05:43 GMT -6
During my physical fitness class, I had everyone lie on their backs with their legs up as if pedaling a bike. After several minutes, one man suddenly stopped.
"Why did you stop pedaling?" I shouted.
"I didn't stop," he said, wheezing, "I'm coasting."
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OkieDokie
Surviving
Jarl (22,857)
Feb 5, 2017
Valhalla
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Post by OkieDokie on Dec 7, 2019 18:29:42 GMT -6
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OkieDokie
Surviving
Jarl (22,857)
Feb 5, 2017
Valhalla
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Post by OkieDokie on Dec 7, 2019 19:51:11 GMT -6
Lol
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WisconsinVike
I never felt so free - it was just my dog and me
Thegn (3,480)
Mar 3, 2017
Valhalla
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Post by WisconsinVike on Dec 8, 2019 11:21:20 GMT -6
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WisconsinVike
I never felt so free - it was just my dog and me
Thegn (3,480)
Mar 3, 2017
Valhalla
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Post by WisconsinVike on Dec 8, 2019 11:22:18 GMT -6
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OkieDokie
Surviving
Jarl (22,857)
Feb 5, 2017
Valhalla
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Post by OkieDokie on Dec 8, 2019 23:35:25 GMT -6
Nope
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WisconsinVike
I never felt so free - it was just my dog and me
Thegn (3,480)
Mar 3, 2017
Valhalla
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Post by WisconsinVike on Dec 9, 2019 0:18:44 GMT -6
no freaking way!!!!!!!!! Kinda wish the safety stop on the front would malfunction so these idiots would really experience an impending death situation.
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OkieDokie
Surviving
Jarl (22,857)
Feb 5, 2017
Valhalla
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Post by OkieDokie on Dec 9, 2019 0:32:53 GMT -6
^^
I would damn sure wear a parachute on that ride
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Post by SmokedPears on Dec 9, 2019 11:15:17 GMT -6
Yeah, I don't need that in my life. I got sick just watching it.
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OkieDokie
Surviving
Jarl (22,857)
Feb 5, 2017
Valhalla
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Post by OkieDokie on Dec 13, 2019 19:56:18 GMT -6
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